I Dream of Love

You held out your hand and said “follow me”

My heart pushes me towards and on blind faith

I reach out to grab your hand, as we held

Hands and walked forward in life together

I experienced the most loving, most complete

Partnership of my whole life.

You respect me, teach me, love me for me and

Encourage me to grow as a man even when I don’t see what I had to offer.

Something indescribable in your eyes makes me trust you

And for the first time in my life I found something who I completely

Love, I completely admire, I completely can be myself emotional and physically.

I thank you for that with my continued dedication, love, respect, encouragement, honesty and admiration for you.  

And then I woke up with a big smile on my face and fond memories and realize it was a dream however I life for hope, I live for love, I live for life.  

''I wrote this with a gentleman in mind who still makes me believe". Thank you GC

Spiritual Lust

I guess I never really said good bye to you

I just assume you would do the right thing

I never had time to really grieve for my broken heart

since we were pretending to be friends

but never really tried, fucking is a friendly thing to do

but we never really did anything else, we are both at fault.

the tears I have cried about lost love

about rejection about what could have been.

The tears that roll down my face now are

Cleansing me and purging “us” out of my system

I shall forget you and chalk this up to a learning experience

and I know that is a lie, one day you will realize

that I was the one perhaps when you realize

love just isn’t working out for you and you reflex on the good ones

I pray my name comes to your mind since you’ve always

Had a way of making me feel so unimportant in your life.

I wish you the best, I wish you well, I wish you love.

“this was written about a boy I love but just wasn’t ready to love me back. I felt complete with him . I don’t bond with that many people in my life however this one had an all access pass to my heart.”

Full Circle

I was called back home

Perhaps it was to finish the process of grieving

For my mother who died 17 years before

Perhaps it was to complete my life’s journey

I did feel like I was put back on track

With my life after moving back home

A stranger pointed out “you are back on track with your life journey”

Or perhaps it was me coming home to realize

I need to keep on moving forward, keep growing, keep

Reaching and evolving as a human being.

Patience........

I feel like I am living in a glass box

Not really connecting with people nor wanting too

and everybody sees me, knows me or should I say

known’s of me but nobody really knows the real Michael Collier.

So I sit crossed leg like I am meditating and waiting…

Waiting for a boy with a hammer to break through

To save me, love me and protect me and my heart

for what I have would be all for him.

My intuition about people is quick and efficient.

It’s like pulling the trigger on a gun, quick to size up and

judge strangers to see if they are the one.

I always ask myself when looking at somebody

“would he make a great husband” while others

are more concerned about cosmetic things like

promiscuous creates gay men could be.

So I wait,

I am waiting for a gentleman to recognize my

Humanity, my believes, my soul.

Only really felt it once or twice in my life

But I am a patience man.

A Deep Shade of Blue

I knew you would be back

Just like clockwork tick tock and right on time

I try to forget about you since you remind

me of happier times, now your just a reminder that life just didn’t work out

the way it should have and when I wake up that morning alone, empty and  unloved.

Your just a reminder that life handed me lemons and I’m making the lemonade as fast as I can.  Some days it feels like the juicer is broke

The days are shorter, the nights are colder, my energy diminished. I want to run home and turn on the heater full blast and curl up in a fetal position and forget about you.

I don’t know if I am embarrassed or ashamed or a little of both that my life turned out this way

Is it ok not to like Christmas?

The Last Unicorn

I heard our song the other day and just smiled.

I remember  you trying to each me the words

You came into my life

 when I was just learning about myself

You knew me before I knew myself

Perhaps you saw I wasn’t ready

The tone in your voice

 had a way of correcting my attitude

  and was direct yet loving

You flew into my life, caressed my soul,

Set me free to fly again then you left.

I now see you served your purpose.

You mysteriously creep into my mind years later

and it’s a small token of something beautiful.

 Thank you Little Sparrow.

I pray you are happy, healthy and well.

TQM

My Heart

The human heart has 4 chambers

The first chamber of my heart is reserved for God

   it’s important to believe and have faith in something besides yourself

The second chamber is ME.

    my dreams, my hobbies, my health, all the things that make me Michael

The third chamber would be my mate.

      my equal, gemelo, soul mate, the person who would truly see my humanity

       and want me to continue to grow until I took my last breath

The fourth chamber would be everything else

           almost being 40 is the best time in my life

 I see things more clearly and understand what’s important.

I put these things in this order because

It will carry me for the next 40 years.