Nonconformist Mary

The candy shop syndrome, no thanks
Three ways? No desire too
Go and soak my oats? What will that do?
Get out and live a little! I am living
Drugs? Love, life, laughter are my drugs
Prude, stuck up & conceited
I prefer naïve, innocent and gullible.
I'm just an old fashion fag
My soul remains concentrated, full of love
waiting for the day it finds it’s soul mate.

Five minus four is me

I look back on my life in amazement

I should have been dead by now

growing up on the “other” side of the tracks

my brothers became a product of their environment

dead or detained, I am the only one that made it

they played the victims of society while I saw opportunity

you can’t escape your past, you can’t even forget it

it has a clever way of haunting you

I live my life to the best of my ability

it has paid off, I am happy, adjusted and hungry for more.

Good bye Richard and Chris

Sorry Kevin and Bill for the hand life dealt you.

Heartbeat

I had my heart broken 3 times this year,
twice by the same person
jaded, bitter, resentful I am not
it made me stronger
some days I feel like Hercules
I have impeccable survival skills
I’ve had a decade of practice
the lines on my face tell a story
what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,
would I do it all over again, in a heartbeat!

My time is now 1/09

partez le bébé, je ne suis pas prêt encore
I am still focusing on me
gehen Sie Baby weg, ich bin noch nicht bereit
I love where I am at in my life
márchese el bebé, no estoy listo aún
you know I love you but I need to be true to myself first
vá-se o bebê, não estou pronto ainda
I will see you soon, I promises.

The Awaking, recap of 2008

It finally all made sense, I never knew what life was all about, I was never really religious, I didn’t understand the happiness of life or love until the switch went on in my mind and one day I woke up and I loved myself. It took a long time in the making however I realized that I am my own source of happiness, my own source of living, my own god. In order to love others you have to first love yourself. I started awaking within myself this year, I understand that my life, my goals and my happiness are all related to my frame of mind. I can do anything, be anybody and my future is based on my current thoughts. I grew hungry for life; I would wake up and be excited about life, excited about a new day and I be so grateful for another day. Life never meant so much to me as it does now; I have never been so focused, happy and clear in my mind. I come first no matter what the future brings me. For the first time in my life I am really me. I knew their was somebody inside me that was the true me. I feel liberated, I feel fantastic, I feel powerful and free. I can’t wait life for the moment, all these years I was living for the future and reflecting on the past. The past only affects you if you let it.

To Be Reborn

I closed my eyes and held my hands up high

I felt the blood of Christ drip through my hands

It felt so pure, so warm and so innocent

and that’s how I’ve lived my life.

A connection of reassurance for being on correct path in my life, self love.

I closed the gates of my own hell last year

Leaving behind the bad habits and emotions

My body regenerated itself; providing me with a newer heart, mind and body

Leaving behind the bad memories, thoughts and actions from the past

Lord helped me move forward, he saw me and scooted me forward

Thank you, I will see you someday but not now,

I’m still in the process of loving myself.

Reflections

I finally found you
You were always in front of me
I’m sorry I didn’t see you sooner
I was so focused on everything but me
This time around I will focus on me
the person I knew inside me
found it’s way emerging
thanks to you, life is soo beautiful
I am finally me for the first time in my life.
Thank you Michael