A conversation with god

I have allowed society to bleed my soul
Is it too late to be on the correct path?
my inner voice told me it’s too late
I got caught up in cosmetic superficial things
it pushed me away from my goal of being
a servant of love, peace and hope
I live my life in hope as an example to others
some days it’s too difficult
and I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t wake up in the morning
however tomorrow is another beautiful day
and I look forward to it
I never really believed in you until I believed in myself
I found myself at the same time I found you
Did you do that on purpose?

Playing with Fire

From the moment I saw you, my heart was terrorized

I felt cupid smiling upon us and I gave you exactly what you were looking for

In an undiscovered moment, I gave you my heart

I am not sure if I handed it to you or you took it

I told you I saw your soul, you said you loved my spirit

Does everyone get memorized by your brown eyes?

I’m afraid my heart will always bleed for you

Silly me, simple fool how could I fall for a boy like you

I now realize that love is a game with you and it meant nothing

I could not make you love then, how will you love me in the future?

As you move on, remember me, remember us, and remember that first night with the rose peddles as we became one

Thinking of you and us in the future, I am playing with fire

In order to move forward, I will take this fire and burn that bridge

Good bye Little Sparrow

Good bye a million times over.

Karma

What comes around goes around they say
So why did we meet in the first place?
I have inspired you, confused you and question your heart?
You are baffled by me since you are use to thinking with the wrong head
Your genuine coy smile
Your Buddha shaped ears
I feel your energy, your honesty and your beauty
I now understand your thought process
you have no prior experience to associate with me
all I know is that you think to much and I talk too much
therefore you classify me as an oddity.
Why do you have to be so hard on yourself?
Stop thinking about everything and just let it happened organically
love nevery goes away, our mothers are so proud of us

Fabricated Love

I went roller skating the other day
it reminded me of us
I went around and around in a circle
it was pointless, just like us at the end
I gave you love and repaid me with infidelity
how could you love me, you don’t even love yourself
all those years, I still don’t know you
your entitlement, reality and sexuality is mystifying
I foolishly allowed this so called relationship
to eat at my soul, my mind my self respect.
I had to leave in order to keep these things
I’m walking away with my pride, a lesson in love and little regrets
you be surprised how hurt I am by our failure
even though you hurt me, I have no heart feelings,
I got my pride back and sweat independence taste so damn good
You will find somebody else to crown you.

Forgive me

I told you I didn’t love you
Perhaps I was just masking
my wounded pride, my emptiness in my heart
sorry it didn’t work out, I tried so hard
I seem to give and give while you took and took
looking back, I recognize these behaviors so clearly now
leave or be left is how it goes
I’ve been both, it hurts, it sucks
time makes it feel better but how could you forget
It’s funny how we are born alone
we die alone but in the middle
we search for love and tenderness.

Also dedicated to the boys I kissed from 1989-2007

Kiss and tell.....

So much for self respect,
I just wanted to be loved.
What was I, who was I?
A fascination, a trophy, a notch on the bed post
You fool, have you ever looked back and realized that
I am a person with a heart you decided to play with
Do you always think with your genitals?
I’m sorry I didn’t truly love you
I didn’t even love myself until recently
Does my honesty surprise you, it doesn’t me
I am in the process of purging my past experiences
to create better ones.

Dedicated to the six boys I kissed between 1989-2007

Exposed

Sometimes I feel like Jesus up on the cross when it comes to my emotions with you.
So naked, so exposed, so honest.
I have never felt this way before.
It’s exciting and scary.
I don't like being vulnerable, you can hurt me
But this is the reason it’s called love.
I hope I put a smile in your heart
I work so hard for us
I know perfection comes with a price.
Each time we hold each other,
it’s like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together….

Written 4/03