Diane

My mom would have been 67 years today; I say would have because she passed away 16 years ago. Sometimes is feels like it was yesterday. I’ve noticed my memory of her has faded to black and white. Diane passed away in the middle of the night, her spirit too weak to live so her soul left without disturbance. Michael the boy was so angry at God for taking her away, Michael the man now understands that nobody is “at fault”. I got closure from this when she appeared in a dream months later as an angel and she wrapped her wings around me making me feel safe and protected as mothers do. I am not sure if it was a dream or some type of subconscious connection. So today on her birthday, my heart is heavy and as an adult, I would have liked to know my mother as a person instead of a maternal figure. If you have your mother, call her, turn to her and tell her thank you for the job she did raising you and tell her that you love her just because.

written 10/29

Always on my mind:

Mystery man how I think about you
Mystery man who I fantasize about you
Not sure how you found me
Not sure how you got in my head
Your voice is direct, affectionate and stealthy
and echoes in my mind days later
When I lay down at night, I feel you with me.
I’ve been called “one in a million”.
you will be amazed at what I have to offer you
I made a promise to myself and to god
to respect my myself and my body as for it
is a temple of love and I wish to share this with you.
Next time I see you, I hope my tears of joy do not
embarrass me, I want to look into those caramel mocha eyes
and then suckle on your lower lip.


written 8/09

Miguel

Standing at a busy intersection
I use to feel abandoned, forgotten & lost
People just passed me by
They glanced but never looked at me
everybody is looking for something
I just assumed we are all searching for the same thing
That true love that completes your soul
I now realize that the only person to do so is myself.
The last two years have been amazing
I look forward to more and getting older,
Getting to know myself, my true self, my complete self
We are all on a journey, within your mind is
your heaven or hell, I choose the light,
Happiness, health and peace within myself
It’s a beautiful experience, can’t really describe it
without getting emotional about it,
will you joined me?

My Amor

It’s timeless
It’s shapeless
It’s very exclusive
It’s a ball of indescribable energy
glowing, warm, comforting
It would make you feel undoubting loved, warm and complete
Without reservation, without regret, without a second thought
Only a selected few will see it in a lifetime
if it speaks to your soul what will you do?
Schedule an appointment, put it on hold or
assume it will be there in the future
great love come from great risk….

written 08/09

One In A Million

Soft spoken beautiful boy
“One in a million” you have been called
You know so much but haven’t been very far
You are street smart, is that’s enough to get by?
“you ooze with sexuality”
Silly man, look inside and see the person, their soul
A coy smile, a blushful grin, the spark in your eyes
Surprised you are not coupled up
People might think of you as common
However you feel in your soul you are
Destined for greatness with your humanity abilities
You come from the school of hard knocks
You have survived a chaotic childhood with zero role models
When you went through your self discovery last year, you emerged
confident and you became the creature you have always met to be
for the first time you are in love. in love with life.

Alone

The other day I was reminded I am alone
It was in an innocent way
two people talking and sharing
I revealed I was the youngest of 5 boys
“you must have a lot of nieces and nephews”
little did they know that 2 of my brothers are gone,
the oldest is detained and the other is just getting by
I look around at my generation and by now I should
have been partnered up for years, perhaps have a few kids
and even have that white picket fence
for the majority of my adult life
I’ve always found myself in a relationship,
my friends use to call me “the king of LTR’s”
and I was proud to carry that title
friends and dates seem to talk about the norm
of casual encounters and to this day I just don’t get it
I feel like I don’t fit in and I don’t belong
I refused to give in and go with the flow
I have to much self respect and self love
I am embarrassed with my inexperience with men
so this starts a new chapter in my life
I am preparing myself for the long haul
I am comfortable with it
I am leaning to do things alone and it doesn’t phase me
This will make me even stronger.
onger.

Heart of Hearts

In my heart of hearts
I made room just for me
for which only a place I feel
it’s my refuge of calmness, peace and shelter
it’s my gut feeling for my feelings towards the world
it only sees the good in mankind, the good in you
I believe we are all good
it’s the outside factors in society that allows us
turn in our kindness to self destructing animals
when I need reassurance about somebody
I think back to my heart of hearts and it gives
a better balance and I make the proper decision.