Forgive me

I told you I didn’t love you
Perhaps I was just masking
my wounded pride, my emptiness in my heart
sorry it didn’t work out, I tried so hard
I seem to give and give while you took and took
looking back, I recognize these behaviors so clearly now
leave or be left is how it goes
I’ve been both, it hurts, it sucks
time makes it feel better but how could you forget
It’s funny how we are born alone
we die alone but in the middle
we search for love and tenderness.

Also dedicated to the boys I kissed from 1989-2007

Kiss and tell.....

So much for self respect,
I just wanted to be loved.
What was I, who was I?
A fascination, a trophy, a notch on the bed post
You fool, have you ever looked back and realized that
I am a person with a heart you decided to play with
Do you always think with your genitals?
I’m sorry I didn’t truly love you
I didn’t even love myself until recently
Does my honesty surprise you, it doesn’t me
I am in the process of purging my past experiences
to create better ones.

Dedicated to the six boys I kissed between 1989-2007

Exposed

Sometimes I feel like Jesus up on the cross when it comes to my emotions with you.
So naked, so exposed, so honest.
I have never felt this way before.
It’s exciting and scary.
I don't like being vulnerable, you can hurt me
But this is the reason it’s called love.
I hope I put a smile in your heart
I work so hard for us
I know perfection comes with a price.
Each time we hold each other,
it’s like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together….

Written 4/03