Miscellaneous

I am the miscellaneous family member

I am the miscellaneous friend

I am the miscellaneous aging gentlemen

Who feels his life is almost over at 42 years old

Yet mentally he feels like he is 62 and his life is over

Instead of having beautiful mind  and awaking breakthroughs

I am having break downs

I am tired, no I am exhausted

Putting on a brave face each day like everything if fine

When in fact I’ve had 42 years of people walking away from me

People not caring, people turning their backs on me

All I wanted was just to be loved, yet no takers…

De·feat·ed

The weather is changing and I can feel

My mental stability slipping just a little

The cold from the season change reminds me

Like a slap in the face that I am alone

Alone to face another round of holiday parties

Which then circles back to my own self-worth & love

 because I am alone.

It has appears the world has forgotten me, again

It started with my parents’ divorce

It continued with my mom died and left me

So what’s the point in reaching out and loving

When I already know the end result

I need a good cry, I need a good hug, I need to be loved.

Stay or Go?

Sometimes I fantasize about not being here

The biggest joke on humanity is death

Yet some of us still have the courage to keep moving forward

Sometimes I don’t have that courage

some days I just want to go to bed and not wake up

Sometimes I think about taking the easy way out

Who wants to get older, break down and start to fall apart

We fall apart emotionally our whole live and towards the end

Our body’s will also fail us.

What’s the point? What’s the point of life, death and living?